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Post work week Butler/IUPUI week 1 of classes incoming

Tonight I decided to watch Room. I hadn't seen it before and have heard a lot of good things about it. Brie Larson, the main actress, looks so much like Emma it's crazy. Though I still see her as a little sister type, she calms me, like knowing she's in the room next door makes ticking slow.  Especially when Michael is there too. She's the Chloe Grace Moretz to my Joseph Gordon-Levitt.  I may want to look after her, Matt, and Jed, and of course Emily and Michael as well. But Emma is so much more mature than me at times. Especially since she has experienced a lot of the same things I have. I don't feel as lonely here as I did with Her.

I've been awake for almost 60 hours now. I'm still lonely. I still want to feel cared about.  And I get that when I'm around Emma and Matt and somewhat Jed. But now my main two friends from work got transferred to different departments so now I'm alone there too.

I think I'm broken. I don't know what the future will bring me. But I'm thinking I don't want to be here in Indiana anymore. I don't have any reason to stay here anymore. Maybe I'll find a future elsewhere. Maybe I'll be somebody different too.  I have so much despair about Her. I get killed a little more every day. But maybe I can get past it. Maybe I can be more.  Emma and Matt believe in me.  Whatever me is of course.


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