Skip to main content

May 2 2019 Victoria Indianapolis

On a foggy night such as this,
I fail to see a single star.
I try and try, but none are there.
My mind wants to trick me,
But I know it lies.
For there are no stars above me.

On these dark nights, darker than the others,
I always feel so alone.
I need to get over you. I need to get by this.
But I still love you.
I know I shouldn't.
For there are no stars above me.

I'm told "you can do it" "forget her"
Yet I think about you almost constantly
All that you were is all I'll ever need.
But that can't matter anymore.
Because you don't love me anymore.
For there are no stars above me.

Six months ago, I last saw you.
I wish I could say I'm okay
But my life is as clear as this night sky.
I felt it from you. I know it's real.
Yet I know you'll never be here again.
For there are no stars above me.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Late night ramblings in the middle of the work week

When I think of her I have a panic attack. No. Too far. When I think of having to live without her I have a panic attack. I tried to play a song about her. Panic attack. Maybe I'll get past it one day. I'm lonely. Like intensely. But I don't want to meet anyone. And I don't mean meet anyone like start dating or whatever. Like I don't know how to make friends even. Most of my life is depressing. Losing her was terrible. I don't know what to do with my life. I don't want to kill myself. I know it sometimes sounds like that but I truly don't. Maybe I'll write another song about her, it'll only be the tenth in the past two weeks. Maybe I'll do a book.  Who knows. I'm trying to live my life without putting up walls but I know I do.  I can't just talk to people but I'm completely alone. I can't live without medication now. I literally can't fall asleep without the quetiapine. I don't know. Life is a mess. I don't k...

"you think you're tired now, try having kids"

I miss her. I miss us. Tonight is 6 months since we lost our child. I think that was the start of us falling apart. It's what really pushed me down. She's going to be a great mom some day. I hope she knows that. I'm still madly in love with her, but seven words will never be enough to make the burn subside. It's one week until I see her again. And the panic attacks just get more and more frequent. I hope she knows how much I need her in my life. I hope she even cares.

Left on Red

My comfort zone is approximately 3 feet around me in any direction. I've never been much of a thrill seeker. People tell me that if I want to grow as a person, I've got to stretch that and try something new. So I started doing that with little safe things like ordering food or drink I wasn't sure I'd like. Or turning left at a red light that I know wasn't going to change for a long time in the middle of the night. And I know, i know these are mostly safe But I want to grow So I have to keep pushing Like telling her how I actually feel But the only thing worse than knowing your words are left unread Is knowing you were left on "Read"